MCW Championship Wrestling Summer Showdown Part I
Saturday June 4, 2011
Fear not, my children, your spiritual guide, imparter of wisdom, and occasional verbal vigilante is among you once again -- and this is your “Summer Showdown” wrap-up!
We started the evening’s festivities with a special message from MCW Commissioner GQ Status, who had a special piece of business to take care of: the special lottery to choose the three combatants who would battle for the coveted Heavyweight Championship # 1 Contender position. As the names of all MCW wrestlers were randomly shuffled, the first name to appear on the screen was none other than: BIG HURT. A second shuffle of the deck gave the second entrant: MIKE HERCUM.
And last, but by no means least, the third and final shuffle gave us: JEBEDIAH. A rather interesting set, to be sure.
The opening match of the night saw the rookie half of “Murder Inc.” -- “Superstar” Bill Martel (with Minka Murder) -- defeat “T-Bone" Tony Banks. From the start of things, it was clear that Banks came to fight, but as for Martel, to be honest, I couldn’t tell if he was there to pander to the fans, show off to Minka, or actually wrestle. While Martel hit some excellent moves himself, Banks was clearly the aggressor throughout; that was, until Martel’s tag team partner Big Hurt came out to the ring, nailed Banks and allowed Martel to score the winning pinfall! Referee Earl Robinson looked around and clearly saw Hurt, as well as Martel and Banks, but despite the calls of the crowd, he awards Martel the win! (Now, I know the refs can’t see everything, but sweet cream on an ice cream sandwich, Earl! How about a little common sense? Geez, what do you think happened?)
Allyson Kay (of Team Be Jealous) was slated to face Angel Dust in what was supposed to be a singles match. But after Angel’s initial onslaught of kicks and strikes, you knew this was going to go South quick -- and yes, go south it did. Jessicka (for some unknown reason) thought she was in a tag match and tagged herself in (Huh?), only to be sent flying out the other side of the ring. Even Dick Jeremy interjected himself (yeah, there’s no other way to make that sound right, so just go with me on this) a few times. But like all the other times these three have fought, Angel would not be pinned. So Allyson and Jessicka decided to up the ante and break out the brass knuckles. This didn’t stop Angel at all; she replied in kind by tagging the duo with a double dropkick and followed it with a swinging double DDT (which gets my “Move of the Night” award). And just so Dick didn’t feel left out, Angel gave him a swift kick to the cojones that made every man in the ‘Plex wince (myself included). Now, you would have thought that when the knucks came out, Angel would have won the match by DQ, right? NOPE! The match was ruled a No Contest. This left many people in the crowd wondering what the sam hill was going on with the refereeing tonight.
Angel Dust got some distance from the ring and took the house mic to challenge ONE member of the trio -- only one, mind you -- to a straight one-on-one match. Didn’t matter who, just one; even Dick Jeremy was invited, if he felt like it. “This three-on-one crap, it’s getting old.” Angel, you aren’t the only one who thinks so…
Murder Inc. -- Minka, Big Hurt, and Bill Martel -- graced the ring with their presence. I’d like nothing more then to tell you just what was said, but between the calls of the crowd and her trying to shout over them, I couldn’t make out a thing. Sorry.
MCW Elite Champion “Luscious” Larry Lavender successfully defended his title against “Mr. Insanity” Toby Klein in a match where Toby had Larry fairly well-grounded for most of the time, although Larry got many good shots in himself, even scoring a surprise roll-up for a two-count. But as a wise man once said, you’re always one mistake away from losing everything; Larry caught Toby with a jawjacker after powering out of a necklock and nailed his top-rope leg drop for the win. I don’t know, but it seems to me that ever since Toby embraced “the High Life”, he seems to have lost a little bit of the edge he once had. Maybe he needs to embrace the insanity once again.
The three men chosen for the Triple Threat #1 Contender’s match all knew one thing: there was more on the line then just a simple win -- whoever came out on top got a Heavyweight Title shot in their future. So the battle that ensued when the bell rang was even more then ever. Hercum tried duping Hurt into doing the hard work and trying to pin Jebediah every time Hurt’s back was turned; this only worked just so long until Hurt figured out he was being played and made Mike pay for it. The momentum swung from one man to another throughout the match, until an X-factor came into play in the form of a very angry “T-Bone” Tony Banks, who laid out Big Hurt with a chair and left him on the floor for the rest of the match! (Hey Hurt, quick lesson -- if you think payback’s a bitch, I think you met her brother: Revenge.) This changed the game in a big way. When Hercum went for his Sharpshooter a second time, Jebediah had the presence of mind to roll him up in a small package -- and become the new #1 Heavyweight Contender!
Out to the ring came MCW Heavyweight Champion Shasta, who looked Jebediah in the eye, said something like “So, it’s me and you, right?”, and after a momentary staredown, the two shook hands in a show of respect.
All evening long, a pair of items hung over the ring -- a pair of brand-new championship belts: The MCW Tag Team Championship belts. The field of contenders began with eight, was trimmed to four, and after last month’s show, there were only two left. But tonight, to use a line from one of my favorite movies, there can be only one.
The first team out to the ring was the Bromance -- I mean, the Borski -- Express, who came out to Journey’s “Separate Ways.” Now, the Rev’s never been one to cast aspersions, but give the public opinion of Blaze and Allen and the way they tend to carry them themselves -- let’s just say it’s been all I can do to not refer to them as the new “Ambiguously Gay Duo”. . .
The second team -- MCW mainstays Supa Lucha and Wilbur Whitlock -- received a heroes’ welcome as they came to the ring, and you could easily see they were ready for a fight.
If you know anything about ladder matches, especially ones where titles are involved, then you know you won’t see much in the way of scientific or technical wrestling. But you will see unparallel violence, wanton carnage, and acts of risk taking that you won’t see in most matches (and who said my job didn’t have perks??).
Both teams had one goal in mind: get to the belts. And if they had to shed blood -- their own or their opponents -- or destroy property, they gladly would. And did, both inside and outside of the ring. (Supa Lucha gets my “Now THAT’s Extreme” Medal for climbing out on the rafters and coming within inches of the belts, before dropping on Bobby Blaze like the Hammer of God.) In the end, the Express took out Lucha and left Wilbur semi-conscious in the ring to climb the ladders and become the new -- and the first -- MCW Tag Team Champions.
Yes, Blaze and Allen, you got the belts - -now the question is: Can you hold onto them?
Until next time, I’m the Reverend Rogue Six -- and I’ll see you at ringside!
